To you who struggles to get out of bed recently and constantly pretends everything is fine. To you who turned down every Christmas get-together because you just aren’t feeling it this year. To you who can’t stand the constant sound of ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ playing in every space you walk in because your life is in no way reflecting the festive period (or maybe you just really hate the song). To you who has never really felt an overwhelming sense of joy during the holiday season for as long as you can remember. To you who is still working on mending that broken heart. To you who feels lost because you lost someone you could never get back, remember these words this season: you are NOT alone.
I know; cliché, right? You’ve probably heard this a thousand times over. It’s written about on a million other spaces on the internet in as many forms as you could possibly imagine. It’s in the memes and in the ‘relatable’ quotes that you’ve seen all over the internet at least five times already this week. It’s in the long ranty captions under the Instagram model’s picture that you skip in disbelief.
Before I started putting these words down in complete sentences, I sat with myself wondering what I really wanted to tell you today. I could tell you everything will be okay, and that time heals all wounds like they often say, and maybe in some ways it’s true, but what do I really know? The truth is, sometimes it gets worse before it gets better. I could tell you to love yourself and I could remind you how strong you really are, but while that may be valid advice, sometimes it’s difficult to tap into your inner strength and fight your demons in order to become the person you so desperately want to be. I could tell you the one you fiercely miss will always somehow remain with you, but why would you take my word for it?
Some people act like the Christmas period is a sort of instant happy pill; like all of a sudden you really do feel merry and jolly, and all your problems disappear with the magical atmosphere. Maybe, it really is that way for certain people and you can’t help but wonder where you got it wrong.
“It’s the most beautiful time of the year”, they say, and maybe it really is – outside at least. The lights glisten and everyone seems to be on an all-time high, but what do you do when on the inside of your heart it doesn’t seem to shine nearly as bright? What do you do when your life is still consumed by all the things you wish you could do away with? What do you do when your anxiety paralyzes you and keeps you frozen in the same spot? What do you do when your mental health is at the lowest low it’s ever been on? What do you do Christmas reminds you of everything you don’t have?
I wish I had all the answers for you, I really do. Seeing I don’t though, please do remember that you are NOT alone, and it is perfectly normal to not have the answers.
Remember everything is not the way it seems. Remember that the overwhelming amount of Instagram pictures you won’t be able to stop admiring for a little too long are truly just a highlight real; a snapshot, a quick peek – a quick pic. Remember that one carefully crafted picture is no indication of one’s true happiness and the number of likes is also no indications of their fulfilment.
For you and many others, this season might have never really played out the way it’s magically portrayed in movies and songs. It might have become a day like any other after that time you turned thirteen or it might have never felt too special at all. Or maybe this year was just extremely difficult and your ability and desire to take part in the festivities have been buried by the crazy experience you had to look in the eye.
You might be dreading the dinner tables this year and the Brexit talks with family members. You might find yourself hiding in the toilet to avoid that one cousin that doesn’t understand the need for female empowerment (insert; eye roll). It may all be more than you can take so just know it’s fine to step away sometimes.
Remember, it’s not all about the gifts, décor and vast choices on your plates if you’re lucky enough to have those. Don’t forget to count your blessings, as few as you think they may be. I did that a few weeks ago and was pleasantly surprised by all I had to be grateful for.
Finally, take some time to knock on someone’s door this season. Check in and make a phone call to that old friend, ensure that they really know they aren’t alone this season. Who knows? Maybe they might make you realise you aren’t either.
Your restless romantic roamer