A New Year, Same Old Problems And Some Needed Changes
We made it! We sure did. 2021 is here and so am I with my first blog post of the year.
As I write this, I am sat on my bedroom floor leaning my back against the bed semi-comfortably. In case you were wondering, this is not my usual writing spot. Most times you will find me punching the keyboard under duvet covers, or on days where motivation and inspiration flow aggressively like a waterfall, I might be sat in the office chair by the desk. Today, however, I feel warrants something different; I haven’t written a blog for what feels like forever (nearly four weeks to be exact) and doing it as I’d normally do somehow feels a little strange. So, I chose the floor and of course, I brought my cosy mustard blanket and a hot mug along with me for the ride.
It sure feels good to be away from 2020 even though it’s only been for a couple of days now. It’s like finally walking away from a toxic ex; you can still hear their voice screeching in your ear, but you feel like a big burden has been lifted off your shoulders. Like you can slowly begin to breathe again – nothing is perfect, nowhere close, but you know in your bones that one day you will get to a good place again. This is exactly how I chose to step into the new year, realistically hopeful.
I made no new year resolutions, they’re just not for me – they’ve never really been – and after everything that went down last year, it felt odd to make plans when we all saw first-hand how life can flip the boat in a split second only to leave you gasping for air while swimming with sharks. A bit dramatic, I know, but I can’t say I didn’t feel that way at different points last year.
This is not to say I’m not hopeful and excited for the new year. I am.
Here in Manchester, we are in our third lockdown since last March and I’ve been dealing with it okay, if I may say so myself. But my lack of an emotional breakdown might have a lot to do with the amount of practise I’ve had at this stage in the game, nonetheless, I’m taking that as a win still.
The last 365 days taught me to count the small wins always as much as the big achievements, but I also learnt that life is all about constant change; ebbs and flow; a painfully uncontrollable rollercoaster ride. This is exactly why I’m choosing to be realistically hopeful: now I know literally anything can happen and all I can do is face whatever does with everything I’ve got. One step at a time; gradually heading to the next phase or the finish line.
One reason why it took me so long to write the first blog post of the year was that I’ve been thinking long and hard about what I want to say on here this time around. I always want this blog to mean something more than just a bunch of words spat out and tied together on a page, and for the most part, the blogs I’ve written in the past have always been rather intentional. Towards the end of 2020, I felt a type of exhaustion I hadn’t in a long time when it came to writing and creating content I not only liked but connected with on a deeper level, which is why I wanted to take my time before heading to the internet to spill my heart out once again.
This year, I’d love to change things up a bit with my writing. There’s so much I’ve always wanted to write about that I haven’t, or I’ve merely tiptoed around for the past few years, and I’ve decided this will be the perfect year to do so.
Every once in a while, I find myself caught up in the idea of who a ‘blogger’ should be, what they should write about, what might be popular, but it’s a thought I always have to snap out of. This is my own corner of the web and it’s okay to be different.
This year I want to dare to be different, or at least the closest version of myself I can be, and I hope you’ll hop on for the ride!
Your restless romantic roamer
