Hello there! It’s been a while since I’ve met you like this, and by like this I mean; on a cold Sunday morning with a hot mug in hand ready to spill out some of my wandering thoughts. January came with force, like nothing much had changed and the ground beneath our feet is still shaky, unstable, unreliable.
The first month of the year always has a habit of acting like it’s here to stay forever. The mornings are super short, in fact, they’re barely there; it’s all greys and fog-filled days. Dark skies, however, come faster than you realise, and it feels like the whole day was just one long night. Another day has gone by – another blurry one that fits right in with the rest.
Last time I brought you a Sunday post was in the midst of all the cheer and light-hearted ambition to make the end of December as memorable as we possibly could. A hard task during a global pandemic, but most of us sought to make it happen anyway. It was the time of year to shut down, have sensible fun as well as prepare for what the year would bring. In fact, in my post, I called it a season to recharge, a time to look back at our desires, habits and choices to know if they still serve us.
I pondered a lot on what I was going to say to you today. After all, today’s is the first post of the regular Sunday series, ON SECOND THOUGHT, this year which for some reason feels rather important, like whatever I say to you could set the tone for the rest of the year. I know it’s not that deep, but my mind is set and there’s nothing I can do about that! I wanted to bring something new to the table, something fresh.
It’s like returning for a new school year, setting new stationery on the desk and opening a new notebook to jot down important things in. You want to make it look nice, a front-page that would stand out from the rest. So, you pick out the prettiest colours and you trace the lines with all the care in the world, avoiding any mistake that can’t be covered up with the just the right shade. In the end, you make it pretty just enough, but you don’t go overboard because the further you get, the less likely you are to risk ruining a perfect page.
That’s exactly how it feels to write down my thoughts today.
I know no one has it entirely figured out, but I wanted to. I wanted to share with you about all the cool things I’d been up to in the last few weeks. I wanted to tell you encouraging words that yielded some type of answer on how you could make your days in isolation better. There was so much I wanted to discover and rediscover during my time away. Creativity? Inspiration? Motivation? I hoped those would resurface as the days went by. The new year oozed of new opportunity and chances, and all I wanted to say was that I had grabbed some and created something refined, polished and perfect.
None of that happened.
Instead, I slept in till later some days and kept the blind shut past midday. I read a book or two and used Netflix to escape the real world. Then, I tuned in, listened to the news and watched life unfold in unexpected ways. I tuned out, switched off and logged off; it felt therapeutic to have a phone stuck in its primitive design – minimal buzzing, essential ringing. I did laundry and made my first banana bread of the year (old lockdown habits die hard). I burnt candles and danced like no one was watching, cause frankly, no one was.
There’s not a thing special about these days, but there’s nothing inherently bad about them either. I am coping with it all how I know how to, and that’s okay. It is a new year, but it isn’t necessarily a new me because not much has changed and when the first day came around there wasn’t some sort of update installation ready to go.
Either way, here I am, showing up, taking one step forward, even though it’s the smallest kind. So, whether 2021 is going your way or not, this is a simple thought for you – and me:
You’ve Got This!
Truth is there is no quick fix I’ve learnt. You won’t wake up tomorrow to find all your problems erased like they were never there; you can’t snap your fingers and start all over. You can however show up to battle your demons and face them head on.
Perhaps, sometimes, we need old reminders to start new things or have the courage to step into the unknown.
Your restless romantic roamer
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