A new beginning is marked by both the big and small things. It’s the milestones that you acknowledge, but also, the moments of deep thought and reflection whilst seated in an empty room that make you realise that change is about to come, or maybe it’s already here.
It becomes real the moment you get up to do something you’re so used to, only to realise you don’t have to anymore. You don’t have to. You might never have to. It’s the moment you grasp that your habits are tainted by a different rhythm, a different vibe. Everything feels normal, but nothing feels the same. That is Transition and that is exactly where I’m at right now.
As I went through the glass doors, the sound echoing in the background was the new recent song by Maluma and Madonna and I remember thinking about how odd it was that there were so few people in the store at that time of day. Like I explained in my previous post, I love to shop, but this time I wasn’t there out of curiosity, but rather out of necessity. I needed a new bag and I needed one ASAP.
I’m not going to lie and say I headed straight to the section of the store I was interested in, however, after a quick aimless roam around, I finally decided to be good and find what I was looking for in the first place. Then I got to it; the endless shelves full of bags and purses and wallets and other weird looking things one may want to carry around in this day and age.
I have bought a few bags in the 22 years of my existence; however, I honestly don’t buy them as often you may think. The bags I get are often all-occasion type bags and I usually would then use them for as long as I possibly could, maybe too long even. Once the strap finally came off or the zip gave up on me, I’d then go get another one with the same characteristics as the last.
Being someone that overanalyses every single little thing, the ones I eventually pick all have to be ticked off on a checklist I follow with precision to ensure they come in handy in all situations.
Due to the super-strict criteria, I usually end up with the classic black boring-looking handbags that could serve their purpose in any and every giving situation.
The more I stared at the bags on the shelves the more I realised I was in a transitional phase. I knew that already but the more I contemplated the list in my head, the more I realised those standards meant less and less to me as days went by.
You see, in the last few years, all the bags I had been buying had to serve multiple purposes since I needed them to. I needed to be able to go to the store, go to the doctor’s, go out to eat and then to classes with the same bag. I needed to multitask and to save money doing so, which made me decide a single bag that could fit into all the facets of my life was the answer.
I’m an adult now… or at least that’s what they all tell me. Graduation is in less than a month from now and I have no classes to go. I have no fixed schedule and I find myself floating around hoping someone will tell me the answer to this puzzle called life or what the next chapter is.
I no longer carry my unnecessarily weighty laptop from one classroom to the other and I might never find myself doing that again. Likewise, I don’t necessarily need a detachable strap anymore or a lot of different pocket spaces. I mean I could choose to have them, but I don’t need them. My bag can be flashy: it can attract all sort of unwanted (or wanted!) attention if I want it to and I can buy a few choices to pair with different outfit picks on different days.
I saw it and I instantly knew it was the one I was taking home with me enabling my current obsession with check print. I got a grey and black check handbag without ticking my usual boxes and for the first time in a while, I got complimented on what I held in my hand. People asked me where I got it from and how much it was, and I was glad to confess it was a nameless brand that cost me almost nothing (no need to break the bank guys!).
Every time I bring it out to play, I am reminded of change and new beginnings. I am reminded that all things do come to end and sometimes it is almost impossible to know what lies at the end of a tunnel. To me, it’s not just a cheap bag I got in a hurry, but a sign of a phase, a stage… a season that will change too. In the next few weeks or months to come, I too might have new rules, new requirements or habit that might mark the start of something new again.
Your restless romantic roamer