RED. It’s always been my favourite colour.
When I was younger, I loved how to me it burned brighter than any other colour. I was never really into pink as a little girl although I was stereotypically ‘girly’ in the things I did and liked. I’m unsure if I really didn’t like the colour in the first place, or if I was just trying to be ‘unique’ in some way as if liking pink was ordinary or predictable.
Anyways, back to my obsession with red, it was loud, intense and I loved how it was a colour that never knew how to hide in a crowd. Every time my mum would return from the Friday market in Galliate (a small town in Northern Italy) she’d return with a – you guessed it – red piece of clothing to add to my already extremely radiant collection. Pink for my little sister and obnoxiously red for me.
Back then, I enjoyed the fact that my clothing alone could somehow speak for me, so I’d pack on the vivid shades and outrageous pairings.
It was right before adolescence when my wardrobe took on a darker turn; nudes, blacks and greys and the odd splash of colour.
Red is a beautiful colour. I loved it immensely and vigorously. In a way I felt like it represented me perfectly; fierce, bold, fiery, ablaze. Maybe, it perfectly represented the person I so much craved to be.
Yesterday, it dawned on me that there are some things I don’t actively think about anymore. It might be a side effect of growing older and not giving time to futile thoughts that don’t serve a specific purpose or don’t push me to another level. As years come and go, the burden of life gets heavier shedding away a different layer of naiveté each time. While we get stronger and wiser and a little more prepared for the next challenge, there are many things we leave on the sidelines. There are many things we then accept as set in stone and finished. There is a lot we stop questioning, a lot we become complacent in.
For the first time, I wonder if red is really my favourite colour. Is it really still above and beyond the rest to me or is that just a truth I’ve come to agree on because I always did?
Now, the point I’m trying to make is really not about colour or any colours as a matter of fact, but it’s about more… a lot more than that.
When was the last time you questioned the obvious little things about yourself?
There are so many things we accept as law in our lives and so much we keep believing and allowing just for the simple fact that we stopped questioning them. There is so much we do on a daily basis that we don’t analyse or interrogate either because life is already complicated enough or because regardless of the way things pan out there is a degree of comfort in not having to think outside the box.
I feel like as we grow older, we can sometimes get so caught up in trying to get by that we forget all about self-discovery.
People stop asking us about our dreams and the things that make our heart beat a little louder, and we begin to live more and more within the boundaries that surround us. Of course, there are people who choose to push the boundaries knowing full well some things are outside their reach, but for the average person the lines between dreams and reality become more definite with time.
One thing I love about children is how they are always discovering things and are so shameless about the frequency with which they change their minds. One day they like vanilla, the next, it’s strawberry. They try drawing and singing and dancing. They dream to be doctors and then firemen, but soon after actors and vets. Of course, it’s their innocent nature that allows them to casually dream and recklessly change their colours, but wouldn’t it be great if we too could be a little more childlike?
It feels like sometimes we stick to our same camps and opinions on certain issues not necessarily because we still believe them wholeheartedly, but because we have become so used to defending one side of the argument that we cannot fathom not doing so anymore. We often jump up to criticize others (I’ve written a few times about outrage and cancel culture), but how critical are we towards our own thoughts and actions? How often do we allow our minds the space to change? How often do we admit that maybe some things don’t have to be so set in stone?
Yes, there may not be a ‘real’ reason why you have to investigate your favourite colour once more, but there may be a good case as to why you should with other things in life – perhaps, the bigger things.
What is your political opinion based on? What views about the world have you held onto for so long that you’ve never really examined their source?
This is not to say that your opinions and your habits will for sure change once you take time for a second thought, but they might take on a new shape and might be altered with new information. Your thoughts might get more complicated and distorted or you might never come to a conclusion at all, but that shouldn’t stop you from searching for newer versions of yourself.
In the end, you might be wondering if RED is the winner after all. Frankly, I’m not sure. It was one of those things that had been stored safely in my unconscious for so long that I never even sought to wonder. Perhaps, I loved all it represented; burning desire and raging passion. Maybe, I did genuinely love the colour and there is nothing more to discover. But I’ll be taking my own advice and will be opening my heart to the possibility that it might time to find love in something new – something different.
Your restless romantic roamer
What is something you’ve changed your mind on lately?