Manchester, UK

Sorry, I Just Keep Ghosting You

From where you stand, I’d probably understand if you’ve gotten bored of me by now.

I mean, I totally feel the same as you may. My online presence has been insanely unreliable this year, like a toxic lover who keeps giving you hope only to then retreat and fall back into hiding; when you are nearly sure the coast is clear and you’re on the verge of moving on, BAAM!, they show up again to pull at the last thread holding you together.

Mine has not been a clean-cut social media detox, in fact, I never intended to have one, however, when January came around, it was as if the ember months had left stealing my creative energy with them. I went from regular posting and sharing weekly Sunday thoughts to sporadic blogging once a month hoping the moment will come when things will pick right back up and I’ll feel like myself again.

I’ve stayed roaming the online space like a ghost running mad around town searching for a way to fall back into their body again.
I’ve been reading and taking in lengthy captions and well-crafted blog posts. I’ve been watching and listening to everything that sounded a little different, anything that might spark that an uncontrollable desire to pour words on paper like water falling unhindered from a tap.
But it didn’t happen.

So why am I here again this time around? Have I turned over a new leaf, you may be wondering? What could I do to make you trust me once more?
If I were giving advice to my bestie on whether to give their serial ghoster ex another time of day, I’d probably say ‘NO, girl run fast’, but that doesn’t quite help my argument, does it now? *cough cough*

On a more serious note, I’d tell my friend actions speak louder than words, so they’d have to watch their next moves closely.

I certainly have missed you. I’ve missed sharing my everyday with you, untangling twisted thoughts in lengthy posts spat out at 2 am. I’ve missed finding my lost self through sincere words that bled with truth allowing me to face me again… again and again.

In other words, what I am saying is you can watch me closely over the next few months as I slowly make my way back into society both in the real world and to you through your pocketable screens…

p.s. I hope your summer days have been light and breezy – looking forward to seeing you soon

Your restless romantic roamer

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3 responses to “Sorry, I Just Keep Ghosting You”

  1. Sian says:

    It is SO lovely to see you back here too!! I definitely can relate on the strange relationship of detoxing with social media, and trying to figure out what I want to say and where I fit… I think it’s an ongoing process, but regardless of whether you post tomorrow or in a years time, I’ll still be checking back to read! Do what you need to do, for you <3

    • rachylewis says:

      Thank you so much Sian, it is certainly great to be back to what I love doing the most! It feels somewhat unfamiliar in some ways but at the same time, I’m itching to relive the joy of hitting ‘post’ on more and more future posts. Thank you for your unwavering support, it’s great to know someone is still in my corner. I’ll be looking out for everything you do too. I hope you too are finding joy again in the new and things you once loved xx

  2. Sian says:

    It’s my absolute pleasure! Most definitely, it’s all about finding that rhythm that suits you. Of course! Thank you <3 xxx

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