The Isolation Diaries – Lockdown 2.0: My Thoughts & Feelings
There are a lot of things that when done for a second time become as easy as riding a bicycle – for those who know how to ride a bicycle of course! The act of doing something once gives at times enough confidence to do it again without fear or first-time jitters.
Do you remember the first time you boarded a plane on your own? Were you nervous, scared, or excited? What about the time you first tried out baking by following the easiest YouTube recipe you could find? Were you confident you could craft the most delicious piece of cake or were you just praying you wouldn’t burn the house down trying? Or what about the time you ate alone at a restaurant? Did you feel anxious thinking about the many eyes of pity on you or does the idea alone give you the creeps so much that you haven’t tried it yet?
Without a doubt, doing something for the second time doesn’t necessarily mean you stand proud at pro-level. It doesn’t mean you can do the task with your eyes closed or without giving too much thought. I mean, even those that can ride a bike with their eyes closed would have to open them at some point on the path to avoid crashing.
But there are some things you don’t necessarily want to try a second time… For example, I’d rather not go back to high school a second time (once was more than enough!), or take injections ever again (I may not be able to avoid this one, unfortunately), or experience a second lockdown… yet here we are once more – I feel inclined to state that these examples are definitely not on the same scale of importance, but you get the gist.
The Isolation Diaries is one of the series on this blog that although I felt immense comfort writing in the Spring months, it was also one I couldn’t wait to retire altogether because it would have meant a rather positive shift in the state of the world.
A pandemic free world? Well, that’s the dream.
Lockdown 2.0 is upon us in the UK and while it is not as tight as the first, it will for sure be a tough time for many people, both economically and mentally. While the first one did teach us a few things, I’m pretty sure it didn’t make any of us pros at limited movements and restricted freedom, but once again we have to roll up our sleeves and take it on.
Last time around, there was a ton of banana bread and baking became not only my unexpected hobby but that of many others too. The were zoom meetings and Netflix parties and I’m pretty sure I forgot how to do my make up after week five. There was boredom and stifled creativity, but there were also daily aimless walks and collective anxiety. Some people did everything on their to-do list, some did nothing, while others managed to find the beautiful middle ground everyone craved.
For me, it was all ups and downs that constantly fed off each other and I played a guessing game with my state of mind every single day. I fluctuated between happy and sad, fulfilled and unaccomplished; every emotion heightened and intense.
I’m not sure how this time will differ from the last. Will it be easier or harder? Is that even something that can be quantified?
One thing I know for sure is that it will be different for everybody in a lot of ways and that is probably the only amount of reliable certainty available to us in the next month.
I’ll surely try to take it easier than I did the last time by facing each day at a time – sometimes, looking forward makes things seem more daunting than they really are. In Sunday’s post, I reminded you to think about how far you’ve come this year, although it might not seem like it at the moment, we have survived so much more than we thought we could this year and that alone is hella impressive.
So, give yourself a break, take each day as it comes and make sure you try to stay connected even through the isolation. I’ll definitely catch up with you more often, now that I’ve revived this series so look out for future posts.
Until then, stay safe and look for bits of positivity in the smaller things! xx
Your restless romantic roamer
