My Monday mornings now sing a very different tune. It’s a sluggish reluctant pace in which I slide out of bed, but nonetheless, I do – in fact, I have to.
Nowadays, most mornings, I awake when the darkness has just become aware it’s time to make way for something much brighter and a little clearer to come through. I like to watch the sky in its confused state even for just a quick moment as it mixes between dark blues and rays of light. At that time of the day, the world above us seems rather unsure of what colour it wants to be; like it’s going through an identity crisis similar to the ones I experience every now and then.
These days my mind is not constantly spinning in wonder and there hasn’t been much of a crisis to resolve. My thoughts are less cluttered in the messiest way and I’ve stopped searching for every single answer to life every moment I’m awake. There are less pent up emotions waiting to burst out, more purposeful thinking, and somehow, I’m not anxiously waiting for the shoe to drop like I did whenever I felt a glimmer of hope last year.
The month of February was a challenging one in the best way. I like exciting challenges, the type that force you out of bed earlier than you’d ever wish to go on the next journey your life has put you on. I was lucky enough to start a new job on the first day of the second month of the year. Thrust into a new world I had never had the opportunity to roam around in before, I was suddenly having to make things thrown my way work at the first go. I wish I was always one to jump in headfirst into scary situations and new territories, but as I’ve told you more than once on this platform, failing sure does terrify me and sometimes it’s been known to hold me back…
The first week in a new job is for sure a whirlwind where imposter syndrome finds a quick seat beside you and leaves you unsure of every basic thing – at least, that’s how it was for me.
“Fake it till you make it” was essentially my motto in life, and at that point, I was wearing it like a badge of honour. But just like putting on new shoes, at some point, something clicks and suddenly you walk more comfortably and confidently like they were made just for you and for you alone. It doesn’t mean you’ll never trip and fall, but you won’t be vehemently waiting for that to happen at every turn.
This night owl has for sure discovered the mornings again at it’s most naked moments; the cold air creeping through the nearly closed windows, the clingy desire to not let go of the warmth a heavy duvet brings, and that drowsy lethargic feeling only mornings can bring. I’m still not quite a morning person as of yet, but it’s been an experience discovering how long a day that starts at 7 am can really be!
My days are mundane in a different way now. I spend most of my hours in a day sitting at my desk, typing away, talking non-stop and staring at a screen till my overly sensitive eyes cry out in protest. It’s the kind of mundanity I dreamt of and craved as the world imploded about this time exactly a year ago and none of it is taking lightly or for granted at all.
Each morning, I try to put on a “work attire” as if I were going into a physical building although the trip is just a bed to desk walking distance. My outfit of choice is definitely not as put together as anything I would be wearing if I were actually stepping a foot out the door, but I make it a point to not work in my pjs at the very least. Not sure how long the “amateur’s excitement” will last, but I try to make it a full-on event.
It feels really good to be sat writing to you guys after unexpectedly taking a month hiatus from blogging and just general social media. Maybe, I used my new job as an excuse, but I truly needed to gather my thoughts and settle into my new lifestyle and schedule before coming back on this platform regularly again. It was very hard at first to not just come on here and slap on whatever came to mind in a new post in order to keep up with stats and schedules, but it was rather important I still delivered content I enjoyed and decided to embrace the quiet in my mind for once.
In the upcoming months, one of my main goals is to focus on blogging more than I have lately, and I’ll definitely be bringing back the end of the month roundup posts and my routine Sunday posts. I’m also hoping to spice things up around here with one or two new series perhaps, but that’s a topic for another day.
I’m heading off now to face a busy day and wishing you a rare stress-free Monday as you go your own way. xx
Your restless romantic roamer