The days are sure running away from me like we’re on a marathon and they’re running at the speed of light leaving me behind. Nights are marking their territory in the sky earlier in the evenings now and are claiming the early mornings too. These days, before I rub the sleep out of my eyes or get out the bed, I’m already forced to choose between switching on the moon lamp on my bedside table, or risk bumping into things I was too lazy to pick up the floor the night before.
It’s a sign of the times, of course, that once again winter is coming. With that I believe it’s also time for a much needed catch up, what do you say?
We recently celebrated the third-year anniversary of this blog I love dearly, and I was in the middle of making some personal decisions I felt were crucial for my mental health to remain intact.
I’ve felt very stuck this year. Like I’d been standing in one place, dilly-dallying in the face of countless possibilities and not knowing what my next move should or would be. Walking out of that state of mind required more strength than I believed I had in me, but it really was up to me to use the little I had to take a step forward, even one, and so I did.
The first thing I decided had to change was my work schedule. I was starting to feel no fulfilment from my day job and with that, I was losing both motivation and my sanity at the same pace.
A truth that has been haunting me ever since graduating from university and into the big ‘adult’ world is this: one’s life will not change until they make a change within it. I knew I had to make a change that would help me come back to myself a little and so I took a swing at it. I did not uproot my entire life in a blink of an eye, so as far as choices go, what I opted for was not the most drastic, but rather the most reasonable one I could allow myself to make now.
No, I didn’t make a grand big exit or hand in my resignation in a heartbeat, but rather I decided to work fewer hours that would allow me to plan my next move with a bit more space to breathe.
It has been wonderful having more time in my day to myself. Hours that did not feel like mine have now been restored and slowly but surely, I’m finding this lost sense of familiarity with the person I once was, which sure feels nice and liberating. I’m rediscovering myself whilst trying not to care what others may think, and as I told you already; if this is madness, I’ll chase it wholeheartedly.
I’ve been catching up with old friends, reading a lot and stepping out more often to do things that once felt little or purely mundane pre-pandemic, but are now monumental for my state of mind. I’ve been appreciating those little things daily and the reality of how far we’ve come has not been lost on me.
To be able to get back to some sense of normalcy has been surreal and much needed. Rides on body-filled buses into town, trips to coffee shops where you shake your head in disbelief at the price of a tiny paper cup, the lush feel of a silk skirt at your favourite store that creates an improved shopping experience than your month old digital cart, being able to stare at people’s full faces and catch a smile that’s not hidden behind a mask. Of course, it’s still very important to me that I’m still careful when roaming about as we are not out of the wood yet, but these days have been precious in their simplicity and my heart is beginning to feel full again.
A few weeks ago, I made a purchase I swore off for the longest time. I did it though, I gave in and after using the windows system for all my life, I got my very first MacBook ever! I had often said I wouldn’t get one in a million years and my reasons were firmly grounded and fully thought out, but once I fell into the rabbit hole of why-maybe-one-day it would be a good idea to get one, well there was no turning back. My sister who got hers long before I did was a major spokesperson for the device, frankly, I had no other choice but to cave in if I wanted her to stop talking my ear off. Okay, okay, I’ll admit I gave into peer pressure, although I do not feel one bit bad about it so far and cannot wait to use my new toy to its fullest worth over the next couple of years.
With the changes going on around here, the way I’ve been spending my time lately and my pricey new purchase, I see no reason why you won’t be seeing a lot more of me around here…
Your restless romantic roamer